


let me die in your arms tonight

by fullsun_ny



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29266665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullsun_ny/pseuds/fullsun_ny
Summary: The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from unrequited love, where the patient's lungs grow flowers, they will then proceed to throw and cough up the petals, sometimes even the whole flower.One of the only ways for the disease to "disappear" is if the person returns the feelings of genuine love.Hanahaki can also be removed through a surgery, but one's feelings towards said person disappear along with the petals.If the patient chooses neither options, or the feelings aren't returned in time, after a week, the patients lungs with completely fill up with flowers, causing them to suffocate.Alternatively: A story, in where, Huang Renjun has only 7 days left to live.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin





	let me die in your arms tonight

**Author's Note:**

> "Love can't kill? Tell that to the flowers in my throat."

Renjun knew something was wrong. 

No matter how much he tried to clear his throat, the aching in his lungs just wouldn't go away. His chest had started to throb too. A little, dull twinge right at his heart. Although he took care of his health reasonably well, Renjun worried he was coming down with a heart problem. He tried to ignore it throughout the day.

''Injunnie~!" A loud, pleasant voice brought him out of his thoughts. He smiled, recognising the voice as one of his favourite people. He turned to see Na Jaemin running over to him, his recently dyed blond hair bouncing as he got closer to Renjun.

Seeing the bright smile on Jaemin's face, he felt his heart throb for an entirely different reason. 

In his opinion, Jaemin's smile was one of the prettiest sights in the world, and whenever he heard his friend's voice, whenever he saw his smile, Renjun felt happy, the feeling of butterflies in his stomach never seemed to go away. 

And this, this was because for as long as he'd known him, he'd had a disgustingly big fat crush on Jaemin. Naturally, how could he not? Jaemin, in Renjun's mind, was perfect, kind and beautiful but also sassy in the funniest ways. He was absolutely weak for Jaemin's smile and his perfect, cherry-red lips.

As he leaned a little to the side, Renjun could see another boy approaching, trailing behind the oh-so-angelic Jaemin with a soft, amused grin on his face: Lee Jeno.

The problem here was, as Renjun thought, that the other two were dating each other. 

His two best friends were two years into their relationship, and they'd made quite a name for themselves as one of the most ideal couples. Everyone could see how in love they were, even if they bickered and argued like an old married couple. 

Renjun was happy for them, he really was, he loved seeing them happy.

But it couldn't help the tiny pang of hurt and jealousy that squeezed his heart anytime he saw Jeno and Jaemin kiss, wherever they would hold hands in the hallway and talk quietly, whenever Jaemin looked at his boyfriend with affectionate eyes, which were only meant for Jeno, and not Renjun.

It hurt whenever he saw Jaemin pick Jeno up and twirl him around playfully, he wanted to be the one resting against Jaemin's chest, be the one in his arms. Whenever he saw Jaemin leaning in to whisper a secret in Jeno's ears, he wanted to be the one listening, wanting to feel Jaemin's soft lips on his skin.

He hated that. 

He hated himself for wanting that, since they were a couple and he didn't want to ruin their relationship by pushing himself on Jaemin. 

But at the end of the day he still wanted to be the one holding Jaemin's hand, giving him kisses and showering him with love.

So, trying as hard as he could, Renjun ignored his feelings of affection towards the boy. Jeno and Jaemin were his best friends. He'd at least make sure they stayed friends, even if he couldn't love Jaemin the way he wanted to. Staying as friends, he was happy with that.

At least, that's what Renjun told himself.

He suddenly frowned, the pain in his chest returning, growing into a sharp point, his throat itching as he coughed again.

''Injun? Are you okay?'' When he heard Jaemin's worried voice and felt a hand on his back, he smiled.

''Yeah, I'm fine, I think I've caught a cold. Don't worry about it Nana, I'll be okay.'' he said cheerfully, because Jaemin never failed to make his day better.

''Don't get sick alright? I'll miss you if you don't show up at school.'' Jeno joked, and Renjun responded with a wide smile. 

''I'll be fine,'' he said again, waving a hand at Jeno's furrowed brow. ''Relax dude,'' he rolled his eyes as Jaemin opened his mouth again. He grinned when Jaemin fell silent with an annoyed huff, pouting in the adorable way Renjun had grown so quickly to love. 

''Fine, I won't bother you more. But the moment you start feeling sick, make sure to tell me so I can come and take care of you. I'm not letting my best friend be alone while he's sick.'' he said stubbornly, and Renjun tried his best not to wince.

''Hey, what about me?'' Jeno teased. Jaemin huffed again.

''You're my boyfriend, you don't count. Besides, Injunnie has always been my best friend. Since we were tiny, right?'' He looked back at Renjun with a smile on his face. Renjun nodded, because it was true. They'd been close ever since they could walk and talk. So, despite wanting to be so much more than just ''best friends'', he wasn't going to say anything about it.

“That’s true. You two were always so close. I always thought I’d never have a chance,” Jeno chuckled. Jaemin slapped his arm lightly. 

“What? When I first saw you, you were hanging out with him and you had an arm around his waist and you were whispering something into his ear so I thought you two were dating or something-”

Renjun stood up as soon as the bell rang. Getting up from his chair, he grabbed his bag and hung it over his shoulder, fighting down the hurt in his chest. 

“I gotta get to class early. See you guys around!” He was so glad his voice didn’t sound too strained, but in his hurry, he missed the confused, slightly concerned looks Jaemin and Jeno sent each other.

***

Renjun managed to get through the rest of the day with only a couple extra sips of water and a lot of coughing he tried and failed to conceal. His friends kept sending him looks through his classes, but he sent them a reassuring smile even as his eyes watered while trying to hold back the awful feeling crawling up his throat.

When the bell rang at the end of the day, he quickly left the class to wait for Jaemin, Jeno and Chenle, another one of his friends, who all lived in the same direction.

As usual, the couple walked out hand in hand, cooing at each other, Chenle trailing behind them. The Chinese boy hurried over to Renjun, exchanging a tired look between them. 

They waited for Jeno and Jaemin to stop making googly eyes at each other, and when they didn’t, Chenle rolled his eyes and simply started walking away, knowing the other three would follow. Indeed, after a second of hesitation, Renjun followed, and after about a minute in which neither Jaemin and Jeno noticed them walking away, Chenle smirked as he heard running footsteps get closer to them.

“Wow, thanks for waiting,” Jaemin pouted. Chenle rolled his eyes.

“You were taking too long. You can look at Jeno any time you want, but some of us actually have things to do.”

“Meanie,” Jaemin muttered, instead throwing an arm over Renjun's shoulders. Renjun simply let it happen, tucking himself to the blond’s side as though it was the most natural thing in the world. And it sort of was, since they walked like that a lot.

“Come on, I can’t have my best friend be stealing my boyfriend,” Jeno snorted, walking up on Renjun's other side and winding an arm around his waist. Jaemin threw the older a judgemental look, but Jeno only stuck his tongue out childishly. Renjun laughed softly and they smiled at him.

“So how’s your cough, Injun? Feeling better?” Jaemin’s concerned voice seemed to summon another wave of tickling in his throat, but he nodded, not speaking. If he did he’d probably try to hack up one of his lungs again.

“That’s good. I don’t want you to get sick. Not that I don’t want to take care of you but- well you know what I mean.”

“Of course, Nana,” Renjun hummed, able to hold his voice steady for a couple seconds.

“If it gets worse, tell us, alright?” Jaemin reminded, again, sounding every bit like a caring brother everyone thought of him as. 

Renjun's heart twinged again, because Jaemin probably only saw him as that: a brother, someone to dote on and take care of but not in a romantic way. 

That was reserved for Jeno, who absolutely thrived on being pampered. Renjun, on the other hand, was less needy, and he thought Jaemin would probably tire of him quickly.

“I will, don’t worry,” he nodded. For the moment, he was content to soak up the comfort from them being on either side of him, even if it was meant to be a purely platonic, friendly gesture. He wanted it to be more than that, but he wouldn’t allow himself to think of it any other way. 

They had each other and Renjun was more like a little follower of theirs, for them to love but only as one would love their family or a small puppy. 

But he was okay with that. He told himself he was okay with that. He told himself he had to be okay with that.

When they got to Renjun’s apartment, Jaemin hugged him briefly, giving him a wide smile before letting go.

“See you tomorrow Injun! Don’t you dare get sick, alright?”

“Alright, alright, I won’t, I promise,” he laughed, but it quickly turned into a small cough. 

“I second Nana. I won’t be able to deal with him without you there,” Jeno added with a smirk, making Jaemin slap his arm and let out an offended noise.

“Yeah, whatever. Shoo, get off my doorstep,” he snorted, making waving motions with his hands. 

The couple waved and Chenle nodded to him, immersed in something on his phone, and they left quickly, leaving Renjun feeling strangely cold without Jaemin by his side.

When he walked into his apartment and locked the door behind him, the first thing he did was cough loudly, feeling his eyes sting as his throat tried to rid itself of the uncomfortable tingle lodged there. 

His lungs hurt a little and again, he was worried he might have been coming down something serious, but the thought was quickly knocked from his head when the pain in his throat spiked, forcing ragged, awful coughs from him. 

Eyes streaming, he made a beeline for the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and downing it the best he could while trying not to cough it all back up. 

He slammed the glass back onto the counter a little harder then he’d intended, breathing heavily, water dripping down his chin.His brief respite lasted only a little while, before the awful sensation in his throat returned and he was back to filling the small room with the sound of him coughing. It felt like something small and soft was lodged in his throat, blocking his airways and making it hard to breathe. 

He felt dizzy and it hurt, hurt to cough, hurt to breathe, hurt to wheeze in puffs of air. 

His chest hurt, his eyes hurt, everything just kind of ached. 

Covering his mouth with his hand, he doubled over, using his other hand to hold onto the counter so as not to fall over. He could feel whatever was in his throat shifting, and with a final, wet sort of hacking noise, he spat something out into his hand, shuddering and taking deep lungfuls of precious oxygen. 

The tickling in his throat immediately faded into a raw feeling, and the ache in his chest subsided mercifully. Leaning on the counter on shaky legs, he opened his hand, staring down at the object in his palm that had caused him so much annoyance throughout the day.

His eyes widened dramatically as he took in the sight. 

Sitting innocently on his hand sat a single red rose petal, a little damp with his spit but otherwise perfect. His legs collapsed under him, and he sank to the floor, stunned. 

Renjun knew, at that moment, that he had only seven days to live.


End file.
